When I go to a movie theater I sit all the way in the back. Which arm rest is mine you ask? Both.! Hell no I'm not sharing it with you and don't you even think that we're gonna end up holding hands. I will dump my popcorn on you and push you down the stairs. Unless you're cute then I guess I'll be the creepo who tries to touch your elbow with mine. But hey, all is fair in love and movie theaters. That's where all the action happens "they" say. But I've never seen action. "They" lie. The only action I've ever gotten at a theater is when I kicked the person's chair in front of me....except...
...I did take one for the team once for my friend. She claimed to have a hot date. "Please go with me!" she begged. Ugh. Since I'm such an awesome friend, I grudgingly went. The guy who was the hot date's friend was supposedly hotter than hot date. So, sure that could be a bonus. WRONG! The only way hot date's friend could be hot would be if I caught him on fire. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shallow person. But this guy was like Quasimoto and the "Take my strong hand" guy from Scary Movie. The gum chewing/smacking was just an added bonus! I wish he had tried to touch his elbow to mine instead of touching my leg with his leg. I don't mean accidental bumping. I mean he draped his leg over mine and tried to put his arm around me. It was more like a headlock. Ever had your ear whispered in while a person is smacking gum? Don't. I don't recommend it. To make a longer story long I ended up dumping my popcorn on him and pushing him down the stairs. THAT is why I take both arm rests at a theater (that I'm allowed in) and threaten harm to those who try to take it!
